


The Next Stop

by Better_Than_Chocolate



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-21
Updated: 2019-04-21
Packaged: 2020-01-23 13:44:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18550972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Better_Than_Chocolate/pseuds/Better_Than_Chocolate
Summary: Decisions are the hardest thing to make.Especially when it is a choice between where you should be and where you want to be.Alec is on the train, hoping to have a peaceful journey.His hopes die as soon as someone joins him.The breathtakingly beautiful stranger, Magnus.Soon enough, Alec doesn't mind having a company at all.





	The Next Stop

Public transportation had its ups and downs. It was cheaper and definitely faster than trying to fight your way through the traffic especially in rush hours.

On the other hand, it meant numerous unwanted contacts with people. In his car he was alone, just him and the blissful silence. No annoying people, no crowd, no pushing and shouting. 

Those reasons should have been enough for him to stick to his personal space, which he adored and loved very much so, yet he was sitting on the train. 

He tried to ignore the constant noises surrounding him like walls. As it turned out, closing your eyes doesn’t make you instantly deaf so he pulled out his phone and earphones, impatiently tugging the worn-out cable as it got stuck somehow. 

He supressed a groan when he realised that it won’t give up no matter how hard he pulls. The moment he managed to free it; he heard the door of his cubicle open. 

He took a deep breath, slowly letting it out, trying his very best to not sound frustrated or straight out pissed off due to the sudden company. 

He was grateful to be alone even if the logical side of his brain knew well enough that this privacy was only temporary before someone would interrupt it and decide to share the seats with him. 

It’s not that it wasn’t big enough to be comfortable for two people, but he didn’t want to endure anyone’s presence for the next two hours. 

He was heading to visit his siblings. Usually they met once in every two weeks on a Friday to catch up and share the beauty and misery of being a young adult in the big bad world. Today was one of those Fridays. They were meant to meet at Alec’s place but Jace was working outside of the city and once he finished, he ended up being closer to Izzy than to Alec, therefore he decided to visit them instead of dragging the two of them to his place. It was better anyway. Each time they came over Izzy somehow managed to get a glance on Alec’s wardrobe which always meant an hour lecture on his fashion, or in this case, the lack of it. 

He loved them so much, but leaving their place was always easier then kicking them out from his own. 

He was dragged out of his thoughts when his newly earned, and extremely unwanted, company cleared his throat. 

He took another breath, fidgeting with his earphone to appear busy instead of rude, before looking up. 

He was grateful for taking a breath because as soon as his eyes landed on the man, he felt like someone chased all the oxygen out of his lungs. 

The man was breath takingly beautiful. Literally. 

He was expecting to face an old man with a crunched-up newspaper in his hand and a facial expression showing how much he hated “kids nowadays”, or some stuck up office worker with a briefcase and laptop. 

What he wasn’t expecting, was the man in front of him. 

He was a few years older than Alec and even with his virgin eyes for fashion, he could tell that the man gave some serious thought to his appearance. 

He was wearing all black, and despite his sister’s usual nagging about Alec’s love for black, this man just proved that wearing no colour doesn’t mean that one can’t look good. 

His appearance was somewhere between formal and casual. He was wearing a black blazer that followed the shape of his body elegantly, along with a shiny pair of trousers. Alec couldn’t see but he was sure it followed something as well, considering that they looked painted on. 

He didn’t have more time to savour the sight of the man as he cleared his throat again. 

“May I sit here?” He asked in a honey deep voice and Alec just nodded. He knew himself enough to be aware that anything leaving his mouth at this point would be either a blatant shit or he would stutter to the point where the words are unrecognisable. 

“Thank you.” The man said with a smile as he eased himself onto the seat, opposite to Alec. 

Alec wondered if he died at some point because he could have sworn, he was in heaven and the man was an angel. 

He nodded again once he realised that the man’s gaze was still on him. 

“I always loved travelling by train, looking at the world pass by.” The man said as he looked out of the window. 

Alec didn’t know what to say to that one, so he didn’t respond and hoped it didn’t make him look rude or ignorant. 

“I’m Magnus.” The man said with a smile as he looked back at Alec, raising a hand out between them. 

“Alec.” Alec said as he accepted the offered hand and thanked to whoever god was above for being able to speak without looking like an idiot. 

He tried to ignore how warm and smooth was the touch of the other man. Before doing anything stupid, like holding onto his hand for dear life, he pulled his hand back and leaned back in his seat, trying to put as much distance between them as possible even if it only meant a few metres, considering the size of the cubicle. 

“So, where are you travelling?” The man asked with a smile and Alec really wanted him to stop smiling if he wanted Alec to contribute to the conversation. 

“I’m visiting my siblings.” He said after a moment. 

“I see.” He said again and Alec was rolling the cord of the earphones between his fingers as he tried to come up with something to say before the silence would go awkwardly long. 

“And you?” He asked finally realising that asking back would be ideal. 

“I’m meeting someone as well.” The man said after a few moments. 

“Family?” Alec asked, talking about family was something he could do. Hell, he could keep talking a bout his siblings for the next two hours without having to stop. 

“No. Although I would love to believe that one day I will see them again.” The man said and raised his gaze up to the roof of the train. It took Alec a few seconds before he realised the meaning behind it. 

“Oh!.. oh.. I’m sorry.” He said, biting his lips nervously. Not the best way to start that’s for sure. 

“No need darling. You could’ve not known plus it’s been years.” The man said with a reassuring smile which Alec found genuine. 

“So, what do you do?” He asked going for the second safest topic he knows. Jobs. 

“It’s a bit complex. I work for an organisation. I meet and negotiate with clients. Help them make a decision, sometimes I push them towards one or another depending on their own interests. Sometimes I stay out of it, let them make their own decisions and hope that it’s the right one.” He said and Alec frowned in confusion. 

“Like a legal sort of advisor?” 

“Something like that.” The man nodded with a smile. “What about you?” 

“I’m actually working for ehm.. an agency as well. Law enforcement. Not like FBI or something. A bit different. But I can’t really go into details.” He said, shifting uncomfortably. He wasn’t supposed to talk to strangers about his jobs due to the nature of it. 

“No pressure. We don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to.” 

“Thank you. Do you have any siblings?” 

“No. I’m an only child. Although I would consider my best friends as siblings. They are my family by choice rather than by blood.” He said and Alec saw the same expression on the man’s face that he had when he talked about his own siblings. The sight of love and affection. 

“They must be brilliant people.” He said, finally smiling back to his company. 

n “They are indeed. What about your siblings?” 

“I have three. Max is 17. He is the best. He is kind, hardworking and very mature for his age and currently in Italy for the rest of the year. Izzy, she is 24 and the spitting image of our mum. She is beautiful, brave and very smart. I’m sure her IQ is more than me and Jace’s combined. Jace is our adoptive brother. He is 25, he joined our family when we were 12. His parents died in a car crash and since our parents used to be friends it was natural that they would take him in and raise him as one of us. Jace is.. god he is a bastard.” He said and his words turned into a laugh. Magnus looked entertained as he listened to Alec going on about his family. 

“Don’t get me wrong. He has his heart on the right place but he doesn’t have a brain to mouth filter, none of us do actually, but in his case, this straightforwardness comes with some cockiness which can make him look like a real dick. We obviously know that he is nothing like that, but you need to get to know him to realise that. Despite this, he is very popular among girls.” He finished with a shrug. 

“Despite this or because of this?” Magnus asked with a cheeky smile that made Alec laugh again. 

“You’re right. It’s rather a because than a despite.” He admitted as he realised that girls probably found this kind of personality appealing. Not as he would know. 

They sat there in silence for a few minutes and Alec used the opportunity to have a better look at the man. He had darker skin and Asian features which he found very unique. He was also tall, not as tall as Alec but tall regardless. He was wearing makeup. It wasn’t the first time Alec saw a man with make up on, New York had its people, but he definitely suited it. It wasn’t an excessive amount, mainly focused on his eyes. 

“Glitter.” He meant to murmur it to himself inwardly, but somehow the words made their way out. 

“Pardon?” The man asked as he turned his head away from the window, looking into Alec’s eyes. 

“No. I mean. I realised you have glitter in your hair.” 

“Oh yes, well I like to shake things up a little bit.” He said with a smile and Alec watched as the man started to play with his ear cuffs showing his black painted nails. 

“I think it really suits you. It’s pretty. I would definitely look stupid with it.” He said sheepishly as he ran his fingers through his hair. 

The man let out a loud laugh, tilting his head back, leaving Alec with wide eyes. 

“Oh dear. You surely know how to flatter a man.” He said with a wink and Alec could feel his cheeks getting warm and he only hoped that they weren’t turning a lovely shade of red. 

“I.. I didn’t mean to. Not as if I wouldn’t mean it. I just..” He let out a long breath, trying to get himself together. 

“You think I’m pretty?” The man asked with a smirk and Alec wondered if the man picked up on his awkwardness. 

“I didn’t say that.” He said stating the obvious. 

“What about you?” The man asked, tilting his head slightly. 

“What about me?” Alec asked, not entirely sure what the man meant. 

“You told me about your siblings and what they are like. So, what are you like?” He asked, slightly leaning forward on his seat. 

“Awkward, boring, has zero sense of fashion and a bit antisocial.” He blurted out before he could stop. 

“Hmm.” The man said bringing his hand up to his lips. Alec could see the way he ran his fingers over his lower lip again and again as if he was deep in his thoughts. 

Alec licked his lips and shoved his hands into the pocket of his leather jacket. It was a reflex. One he had since he can remember. If any time he would feel self-conscious, he would put his hands into his pocket. It helped him feel safe. 

“Tell me about your friends.” He said after a few minutes. He was genuinely curious plus he wanted to find out if he managed to kill the man’s interest. 

“I have three. Catarina, Ragnor and Raphael. They are all very different. Ragnor is the oldest, he is a good few years older than me. He is undeniably British, with no sense of humour what so ever, although he would argue over that.” He said with a laugh and a tiny shake of his head. “He is very smart and intelligent. Always up for a debate over anything and everything as long as you have solid and factual points to defend your opinion. Catarina. Dear Cat, is an angel. I never met anyone so selfless and kind hearted like her. However, she is always ready to give me a smack if I do something horribly stupid, which happens more often than I would dare to admit. Raphael.. well Raphael is Raphael. He is somehow similar to your brother, Jace. Has absolutely no regards to others, has an oversized ego, extremely sarcastic and always grumpy, but once you get to know him, he can love fiercely and would go above and beyond for the people he loves. They aren’t perfect, far from it, okay maybe Cat is, but I love them. They are my family.” He said, smiling fondly as he talked. 

Alec could feel the warmth flooding his heart as he listened to the man. He knew the feeling. His siblings had their flaws, but he couldn’t imagine his life without them. They were his everything. 

“It sounds like they are amazing people.” He said smiling at the other man. 

“They are indeed. Just like your siblings.” He said with a nod, his smile matching Alec’s. 

“So, what do you do when you’re not travelling or working?” The man asked with interests leaning forward, his hands on his legs, finger intervened. 

“Well.. I like to do archery. I started as a kid and developed a real passion for it. I like everything about it and I consider myself pretty good.” He said and it wasn’t he’s ego speaking. It was a fact. He never missed his aim. 

“Interesting. You do seem like someone who likes to have control, so it’s not really surprising. What else?” 

Alec had to put some thoughts into that question. He wasn’t really known for being that productive unless it was about work. 

“I like to read. I wouldn’t consider myself a bookworm or anything, but I enjoy reading. No specific genres although I’m not a fan of romantic stories.” He said with a shrug. 

“You aren’t a hopeless romantic then I assume.” The man said with a coy smile looking up at Alec. 

“No, not really. Romance.. isn’t my thing really.” He said licking his lips slightly nervous about the new topic. He could talk about his family or his job (so so) but about relationships? Hell, no. 

“Why is that?” The man asked with his brows furrowed. 

“I don’t.. I haven’t.. I’ve never..” He started over and over again, not entirely sure what he was trying to say. 

“Have you never been in a relationship?” The man asked, his tone was kind and calm, it wasn’t mocking at all. 

Alec didn’t answer just focused his gaze on a point in the air, stubbornly looking at it so he wouldn’t have to look at the man in front of him. 

“You’ve never been in love.” The man said slowly as he realised. 

“No I haven’t.” Alec said, not trying to deny the obvious. He wasn’t feeling ashamed of not being in love, he just wished he would have. Watching his siblings finding love and being in a relationship made him want to find the same happiness for himself. He was surely happy for them, he liked Clary and Simon, okay not always and not overly, but they made his siblings happy and that’s all it mattered to him. It doesn’t mean he never wished to experience the same. 

“What about you?” Alec asked and he realised in that instant moment, that his questions wasn’t just stupid but naive as well. The man was beautiful, funny and smart, surely, he wasn’t a lone wolf like himself. 

“I’ve loved before. But was I in love? I don’t know. I surely thought I was at some point but thinking about it now. Maybe I wasn’t. I don’t know. I had fare amounts of partners during the years, men and women alike, but I haven’t been in a committed relationship for a long time now. The last time I burnt myself. It taught me not to play with fire.” He sighed and Alec couldn’t decide if he was sad or disappointed, maybe a bit of both. 

“I guess I just haven’t found the one. Not as if I was actively looking for him, but I’m opened to meet someone. If it’s meant to be, then it will happen. If not, then why would I bother?” He asked as he eyed the other man. He didn’t know if he expected anything from the man as he just confessed being homosexual, but there was a tiny smile playing on the corner of his lips and Alec felt his own jolting into a smile as well. 

He felt his phone vibrating in his pocket, so he quickly pulled it out half way to have a glance on the screen. 

_Izzy_

He felt the tingle of the slight guilt creeping up in his heart as he pushed his phone back, not wanting to pick it up right now. 

Normally he would always answer when his siblings called, regardless of where he was or what he was doing, but right now he rather focused all his attention on the man in front of him. 

“Someone important?” The man asked as he crossed his legs elegantly and shuffled in his seat. 

“My sister. I’m sure she is calling about tonight, checking in or something. I’ll call her back when I get off.” He said with s shrug. 

“What are you planning to do?” Magnus asked he leaned back in his seat, tilting his head back to get more comfortable. Trains weren’t really first class, but he didn’t mind. Not for the length of this journey anyway. 

“Not much really. We order food or I cook, depends on the mood. One thing is sure, Izzy never cooks. Unless we have a death wish. When I said she is perfect, I didn’t mean in the kitchen. In the kitchen she is a walking disaster. I’m sure she could manage to burn the water in the kettle if she would try hard enough.” He said and laughed as he remembered the first, and last, time she surprised them with some home cooked dinner. “Once she tried to make lasagne. I only know it was lasagne because she told us. That was fun, me and Jace spent half an hour trying to guess what the hell she served us. The fact we couldn’t find out tells it all.” Magnus laughed as he spoke, and Alec tried to ignore the tiny feeling of happiness that bubbles in his heart. He wasn’t very friendly or approachable and people always told him to ease up and just let the conversation flow on it’s own. He never managed to talk to someone he only met but with Magnus it was different. He enjoyed talking to him and he didn’t feel the whole thing being forced or dragging. It was as easy as breathing. “Sometimes we play board games as well, but mainly when my siblings’ partners are joining us. It’s not fun to play board games with the four of us just, or three in this case.” He said trying to occupy his thoughts by talking rather than keep thinking about the reason why he enjoys the presence of this man. 

“It sounds so much fun.” The man said smiling. 

“It’s nothing special but I love these nights.” Alec said with a fond smile. He did love to spend time with his siblings. First it was hard to accept that they all parted, working at different jobs in different parts of the city, or outside of the city in Izzy’s case. Before that they lived together and spent every time with each other. Now they only had the weekends and they always tried to bring the most out of it. He would not trade it for anything. 

“What do you usually do with your friends?” 

“Well we tried playing Monopoly once, but it was a terrible idea. Ragnor spent an hour going on about how silly it is and that in real life you can’t buy part of cities, Catarina constantly accused me of cheating as I was the banker, between us darling I kept telling her how delusional she is and I’m only winning because I’m simply amazing, but in reality she was right.” The man beamed at Alec and even winked which made Alec laugh. He shook his head as he realised that he isn’t even surprised, and he would probably believe that the man was indeed cheating without a blink. “Raphael, the dear, wasn’t having any of it. Have you seen those people who would flip the board and throw a tantrum when they lose? Now that’s Raphael.” He laughed and thought about Jace straightaway. Jace just couldn’t lose. 

“I think I can relate to these. Although it’s normally Izzy who cheats the fuck out of the game, it’s me who constantly tells everyone that she is cheating and Jace is the one who simply can’t accept the fact that he isn’t the one winning. Max is similar to Ragnor, although he complains about us being so childish even though she is the youngest one out of all of us.” 

“Seems like our friends are not even that different.” Magnus said with an odd smile on his face that Alec couldn’t really understand. 

“We should definitely do a game night together.” Alec said still smiling but when he looked at the man his smile died off his lips slowly until it was gone. 

“I didn’t mean like that. Just and idea. Not even an idea. I don’t even know why I said it.” He tried to quickly explain something, not sure what. 

“I would love to darling.” The man said his voice was somehow lower than before and there was something in his eyes but before Alec could define the emotion it was gone. 

They sat there for a few minutes in silence, both of them lost deep in their thoughts as they stared out of the window, watching a blurred image of the world around them. He checked his phone for the time, his stop will be in thirty minutes. He was surprised to realise how quickly that hour and a half had passed. It felt like they were only talking for no more than twenty minutes. 

His phone buzzed in this pocket again. In the silence that settled between them it was obvious that the other man could hear it clearly. 

“Aren’t you gonna answer it?” Magnus asked with an odd expression almost as if he wanted Alec to pick it up. 

“No.” He said and hoped it wasn’t obvious that he almost choked on those two letters. 

“What if it’s your siblings calling?” The man asked with a frown. 

“It doesn’t matter now. I’ll be seeing them soon anyway.” He said and couldn’t really tell why he was so reluctant to answer their calls. Who was he kidding, he knew the reason very well. 

In his entire life, Izzy and Jace were popular, everyone loved to be around them, they all wanted to become their friends. No matter where they went, the two of them quickly became the centre of attention, sometimes intentionally sometimes not. Alec didn’t mind. He really didn’t. He wasn’t as extroverted as them, so it suited him just fine. 

This time it was different. He was alone. The man talked to him. He didn’t have to. He chose to. Even though they shared a cubicle, he could have ignored Alec and spend the entire journey in silence. But he didn’t. He initiated a conversation. He seemed entertained and Alec enjoyed it. He enjoyed every second of it. Whether they talked about food, music, family or just random things. He never got the attention of anyone before and the feeling was very foreign but extremely welcomed. He knew once he gets off the train it will be over. He just wanted to enjoy it for another few minutes. He just wanted to hold onto this weak thread of happiness for a little longer. 

“Where do you get off?” Alec asked, running his fingers through his hair, hoping that maybe theu were both waiting for the next stop. 

“I’ll go till the final destination.” The man said. 

“Mine is the next one.” Alec said matter-of-factly. 

“What would be your ideal date?” The question caught Alec off guard. He blinked a few before he managed to fully register the question. 

“Ehhm.. I never..really thought about it.” He said and rubber the back of his neck, trying to think about it. It was hard because the only coherent idea in his head was, that as long as the man would be his date, it wouldn’t matter what they would do. 

“First time for everything.” The man smiled and waited patiently for Alec to answer. 

“It’s not really the activity that makes a date perfect, but the company. I don’t care what we would do as long as I spend it with the right person.” He said finally. 

Magnus hummed in agreement. There was something odd about his expression. 

“What about you?” 

“I guess I have to agree with you on this one. It’s not the program but the partner that makes a date special.” He nodded slowly, avoiding any eye contact which was the first time during their journey when the man didn’t look at Alec while he talked. 

Alec always knew that he was clumsy and extremely awkward. Despite this he decided to get up and take his jacket off. This way he was standing right in front of Magnus. He tried to ignore the lack of space between their bodies as he tried to shrug his jacket off. 

The train suddenly jolted, and Alec couldn’t keep his balance. As much as he wanted to hold himself steady above Magnus, his hands were half way out of his jacket, being unable use them to lean on the wall. 

The next moment he found himself in the man’s arms. He didn’t know when he got up but right now his arms were around Alec’s waist, holding him tight. 

Alec looked into his eyes. They were beautiful. The man had green eyes with specks of gold in it, he knew he could spend hours looking into them, getting completely lost. 

He swallowed as he felt his mouth going dry, their lips were so close, he could feel their breaths mixing. 

Alec’s lips slightly parted and his eyes travelled down to the man’s lips just before he looked back up into his eyes. 

The man’s eyes were wide as if he was taken aback by how close they were. He also saw want in those eyes. Burning want. 

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he registered the train slowing down, indicating that he arrived at his stop. 

He knew it was matter of minutes before the train stops completely. He didn’t have time to over analyse, to take pros and cons into consideration. It was now or never. 

He pulled his jacket back on before raising his hands to cup the man’s face between his palm and pressed his lips to the man’s. 

His eyes shattered close as he felt the softness of it as their lips moved together. 

“It’s your stop Alec. You have to get off.” The man whispered into the kiss. Alec knew he was right but he couldn’t care less. Worst case worst he would have to ask his siblings to pick him up in the next town. He didn’t want to go. Not yet. 

Alec kissed him again, this time it was stubborn. 

“Alec.. you need to get off.” The man hissed and pulled away from him. 

“I don’t want to.” Alec said and he found it hard to swallow. 

“You have to.” Magus said as he moved further away, putting more distance between them. 

“Yeah.. okay.” Alec nodded. The sweet taste of their kiss turned to bitter as he tried to swallow the lump in his throat caused by rejection and disappointment. 

Magnus didn’t say anything just looked at him. He seemed to be fighting with himself. It confused Alec. Why did the man want him to leave when he clearly wanted this as much as Alec? 

The train came to a stop and Alec knew the doors will be opening in seconds. 

“This is me then.” He said awkwardly, shifting from one foot to the other as he scanned his seat to make sure he didn’t leave anything behind. Apart from his dignity. 

Magnus nodded again and Alec moved to open the door of the cubicle. 

He wanted to say something but he felt like anything at this point would sound silly, so he just waved awkwardly as he stepped out to the corridor, facing the main doors of the train that just opened up in front of him. 

He was about to step down onto the platform when Magnus shouted after him. 

“ _Alexander!_ ” Alec looked back watching the man standing a few steps away from him. No one called him Alexander in ages. And even then, it never sounded anything remotely close to the way the man said it. 

“You said you are boring, antisocial and awkward. I just wanted you to know how wrong you are. You are everything but. Don’t ever change.” Magnus said and Alec heard the alarm going off, signalling that the doors will be closing in thirty seconds. 

He wanted to say something to the man, but he didn’t know what, so he turned towards the doors, the bright light blinding him as he got off at his stop, stepping onto the platform. 

  


Alec tried to open his eyes. It took him a few seconds before he could fully focus on his surroundings. 

“Alec..thank god.” He heard his sister voice coming from somewhere far, getting closer and closer. 

“Hey buddy.” It was Jace. Alec finally was able to see where he was and who were with him. 

“What..what happened?” He asked, his throat was dry and sore. 

“You.. you had a car crash.” Izzy said and Alec saw how red her eyes were, she must have been crying. 

It explained why he found himself lying in a hospital bed. 

“You scared as so much. I kept calling you.. begging you to come back to us and you did.” Izzy said, gripping his hand between her tiny ones. 

“It’s okay. I’m okay.” Alec said quietly. He had no idea what happened. The last thing he could remember was getting off the train, then nothing. 

“Barely..you almost..” Jace said and Alec never saw him being such a wreck. His hair was messy and there was no hint of his usual mask. It was Jace. The loving, caring brother. 

“I let the doctor know you’re awake.” Izzy said, leaning close to him, kissing him on the forehead. 

He closed his eyes. He felt utterly tired. 

The next weeks were passing in a blink of an eye. Alec was sleeping majority of the time. He was lucky to be alive. He had a head trauma, but apart from that he was fine. He didn’t break a bone which was apparently unbelievable considering the circumstances. 

The circumstances he had no idea about. 

His siblings came to visit as often as possible, but they haven’t spoke to Alec about the accident, the doctor asked them not to, until Alec was declared to fit to leave. 

He was sitting on his bed when they came in. Their smiles were sad and worried and Alec wasn’t really happy with the swapped roles. He felt as if he became the little brother all of a sudden. 

“Hey.. Alec.. can you.. remember anything?” Izzy asked, her brows furrowed in concentration. 

“Nothing about the accident. All I can remember is that I was on the train and then I got off.. and then nothing.” He said with a shrug. 

He looked at his siblings who changed a worried and confused look before looking at him in utter shock. 

“Wha..what?” He asked not clearly understanding their reaction. 

“Alec..” Jace started carefully, rubbing his mouth nervously with his hand. “You never got to the train. You had a car accident on your way to the train station.” 

Alec heard the words but couldn’t understand them. Like Jace was talking in a foreign language he didn’t speak or as if he was talking some nonsense. 

“Of course, I did.” He snapped angrily, not wanting to believe them. It must be a misunderstanding. 

“Alec..” Izzy said slowly as she pulled something out of her pocket and handed it to Alec. 

Alec stared at it, not daring to touch it, afraid that it would burn him. 

In her hand was his ticket. Untouched, unpunched, unused. 

He tried to swallow the lump in his throat and looked away from his siblings. He tried to look out of the window but he couldn’t see anything from the tears, his eyes sting but he didn’t want to close them, afraid of the tears making their way down his cheeks. 

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, ignoring how shaky it came out. 

He got up and marched to the toilet, he felt sick. 

He washed his face under called water repeatedly, hoping to wake up from whatever nightmare he was in. 

He heard his siblings talking. A part of him didn’t want to hear what they were discussing but at the same time, he had to know. 

“Do you think.. it’s from the trauma?” Izzy spoke. 

“I don’t know.. I guess. The doctor did say that hallucination isn’t rare after an injury to the head.” Jace answered and it was more than enough for Alec. 

He backed away from the door, walking until his back hit the wall and he tilted his head back with a sigh. 

He closed his eyes and didn’t even bothered to stop the tears. Not this time. 

The amount of different emotions that were currently bubbling in his heart were overwhelming. 

They all hurt. 

It hurt to realise that Magnus didn’t exist. 

It hurt to realise that none of it happened. 

It hurt to realise that the first time he felt happy for himself wasn’t real. 

He felt betrayed by his own mind. 

He felt pathetic for hallucinating about finding someone, about finding happiness. 

But what really hurt, was the void, the want, the desperation he felt wishing that it was true. 

He didn’t talk to his siblings about what happened. He didn’t want to think about it again and they were understanding. Seeing how unsettled he was, they understood that he needs time and some privacy. 

In a few days he was ready to leave the hospital. To leave it all behind. To forget it as it never happened. Because it never did. 

They walked out of the hospital and Alec took a deep breath from the fresh air. He was in New York. Everything seemed the same, yet different. The traffic, the people, the shops, the lights. 

Jace and Izzy went ahead, the car parked on the street. Jace dropped his stuff in the back and sat to the driver’s seat after opening the door for Alec. 

Izzy was already sitting at the passenger’s seat. 

Alec was about to sit into the car when he looked up and he froze. 

Across the street, in the middle of the moving crowd, stood him. 

He stood there still, not moving, his gaze fixed on Alec. 

_Magnus_

He was wearing the same clothes as he did before. He was holding a piece of paper in his hand. He snapped his fingers and in the next instant the paper was in Alec’s hand. 

His breath hitched as he looked down on the list. 

A list of names. 

_Alexander Gideon Lightwood_

He watched his own name, eyes wide open. The next moment his name started to fade until it was gone. The list moved up. 

He snapped his head back towards the man. The paper was back in his hand. 

He slowly nodded at Alec with a smile before disappearing in the thick air as he spread his wings, leaving nothing but a single black feather on the palm of Alec’s hand.


End file.
